As long as I live, I will live for you
by RenaissanceThinker
Summary: There's this girl named Kim. She's a shy girl who has a very low self-asteam, but she doesn't mind. Her life is fabulous as long as Jared's in it. Well as long as she sees him, he doesn't actually have to know who she is. One day he does notice her...
1. Chapter 1

There's this girl named Kim. She's a shy girl who has a very low self-asteam, but she doesn't mind. Her life is fabulous as long as Jared's in it. Well as long as she sees him, he doesn't actually have to know who she is. But one day when he does notice her, her life turns for the better. _'He's perfect, there's nothing I would change about him,'_ she thinks. Little does she know how much she really means to Jared...

I do not own these Characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

This story will turn to mature themes part way through it, hence the M rating.

Please enjoy the love story of Jared & Kim, and how they came to be.

Kims POV:

I can't imagine a day without him. My world is him, all about him. Every day I think of him, just everything he does, he does perfectly. Jared Camron. He's beautiful and I've never seen him do something that doesn't work out. Every time I'm near him I get all sweaty and jumpy, it's inevitable. He's got this effect on me that just makes me feel alive. I wish I could thank him for that, but don't want to bother him. That's why I don't talk to him because he must have millions of things to do. He is a really important person. He knows who I am though, we've been in the same classes since elementary school, I'm Kim. Kim Conweller, and in my class we just got assigned new seating partners. And I can't believe I'm sitting next to him, the luck that I get to sit with him for an entire period is all I could ever ask for.

I'm a fan of history class, it's one of my favorite things to learn. The past is just so interesting, to think all those things you learn about in the text books happened so long ago, and we still know about it. It's my favorite class, and I get to share it with Jared. He's pretty good in this class to. Jared's not dumb at all, I'm sure the reason he's not passing is because he just doesn't like the teacher. That's alright though. He's one of those people that you know will succeed no matter what they do. Jared's the type of person that doesn't need to study or do homework because I know that he will have such a bright future. I'm so happy for him too, I hope he has a wonderful life, he deserves it.

'_RING' _first periods over. That makes the rest of my day suck in a way. I really do love school but I just don't get to see Jared again for the rest of the day other than lunch. With a sigh I head to my locker.

That's when I felt myself crashing to the floor. My hands weren't fast enough, I wiped out pretty hard. I hit my forehead and dropped my books all over the ground. My head was throbbing; there was a pulse going from the back of my brain to the front. It hurt, almost as much as what was going on around me. Almost.

"Watch where you're going you cunt," someone laughed at me.

I ignored the jibes that the people around me kept saying, picked up my books and practically ran to the bathroom.

I got to the stall in the bathroom in no more than 30 seconds after that all happened. I started to cry, I can't handle this every day. Getting bullied was the one part of school that I didn't like. It's not one particular group that treats me this way, it's always random people. I'm just an easy target, no one really remembers me.

'RING' oh crap! I'm late, but I'm never late. What am I supposed to do? I've never been in this situation before. I start to haul myself up off the floor and burst through the stall door and check my face in the mirror.

I always get that slight jab in my stomach when I see a mirror. My face was just not what society calls pretty. My to-wide-cheek-bones, my small eyes and my way-to-big mouth always stared back at me. I had flat brown hair that hung plainly to my shoulders. And my face was plastered with acne. I was to my horror, plain. I don't really deserve complement anyway I suppose. My body wasn't too great either. I had a rather flat chest and huge hips. I sighed; I can't do anything about my looks. I can do something about my marks though.

I quickly wiped away my tears and practically flew to my next class hoping I wouldn't be in trouble with my teacher. I gently opened the door to the classroom and walked to my seat, I got some looks from the people in the room but I ignored them. I sat down in the back of the classroom by myself. Once I got to my seat the teacher looked up, scrunched up his eyebrows but kept on teaching anyway. I was so relived and hurriedly started to take my notes.

After class I slowly walked to the cafeteria behind the other kids that were talking happily with their friends. I tried to ignore the feeling of being left out while I ordered my lunch. I got a salad. I'm trying to eat healthier because I think it will help my hips lose weight; it's not working so far.

I sat down and pulled my new book from the library out of my bag and started to read.

Reading is my best friend, it takes me out of the world I'm in and gives me the life that I'd rather be living. A new story every time. I can't describe the feeling I get while reading, it just distracts me from fantasising about things in life that aren't going to happen. For example, my name being Kim Camron.

I can see Jared eating with his friends, he looks happy. My heart swelled at that thought, _good_ my brain told me. _When he's happy so am I._

Even though I can tell he's happy, he's not smiling. Jared never really smiles, he has a serious face but not a serious personality.

It's the end of the day and I'm walking home now, in the rain. Nothing unusual about that in La Push, except that I'm walking on mushy leaves. It's the middle of October and the beginning of my 11th year in school. I'm still 16, in a couple of months I'll be 17. The only difference that will make is that instead of being 16 and walking home in the rain is that I will be 17 and walking home in the rain. I don't have a car, I can't afford one plus I don't think my parents care. Also where would I drive to?

I opened up the front door and hung my coat and took off my shoes. My parents aren't home yet which makes no difference in my eyes. They feed me, pay for my things and let me live in their house. I don't think they like me, they've never shown that they want to spend time to with me. This makes me cry, I always wanted a family that loves me, hell, anyone that would love me.

The one thing that makes me feel love is my journal. I love it, I can tell it everything and I keep no secrets from my journal. It listens to me and never criticises. I spend hours a day writing in there, telling it how my day was and about my feelings. It's like having a best friend, it means the world to me.

After I finished writing in my journal I started on my homework, I get lots of homework. My class always complain about the amount that the teachers lay on us. I'm thrilled when the teachers give us lots of homework because that means I have something to do that day and I won't get bored. Which translates to me not getting sad. Sometimes when I'm sad I do things that most people would make fun of me for. I don't want to be made fun of so I keep this a secret. I like to cut myself, I've only ever told my journal and I plan to keep it that way. I don't need people mocking me more than they already do.

"Supper!" I hear my mom call, and I head down the stairs taking one last look at my room. I love my room, its pink and blue and makes me feel like a princess. There are teddy bears everywhere you look and piles upon piles of books, as well as paints. I feel more protected in my room. I feel like a princess.

When I entered the kitchen I saw that we are having salad with chicken. Yum, I'm starving. I sit down and eat, my parents are talking only to each other because they never know what to say to me. I make them feel awkward, I'm just shy and no matter how hard I try I just can't get over it.

I finished quickly and headed up the stairs to go to bed, sleep was also a great thing. It brought dreams, and dreams usually involved Jared. I smiled, when I think his name I just can't help it. This summer did him a lot of good, he buffed up and became even more handsome. I can't even believe that's possible. He will always be the most beautiful thing in my eyes. I start to drift to sleep thinking of Jared. Jared's face, Jared's laugh, Jared's smile…


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up, it was 7am. Time for school even if I was still tired, school still goes on without me.

I took a longer shower than I normally would; I was really cold this morning and wanted to heat up a bit. I turned the hot water off and stepped out of the warm steam and tightly wrapped the towel around me and headed back to my room. While I looked for an outfit for the day, in the back of my mind I was thinking of what I should wear that would impress Jared. I wanted to look good for him, whether he would notice or not.

I ended up wearing jeans and a hoodie, I thought I would look the thinnest in this outfit. I didn't dare look in the mirror, worried that I would hate how I look and spend another hour in my closet.

On my way walking to school I started to worry about being singled out today, maybe someone one will make fun of my looks? Or just plain out trip me like yesterday. This started my anxiety just as I got to school.

I headed to history, very anxious to see Jared. I did this every day, it was pathetic I know but I just can't help it.

I calmed instantly when I saw him entre the room with his best friend Paul, and then got anxious all over again because he was near me.

He sat down to the right of me and pulled his books out just as the teacher walked in. As he started the class I couldn't help but sneak peeks at Jared. He had the most beautiful angular features, it was breath taking. I could tell he wasn't really listening to the teacher, he was kind of zoned out.

While his eyes were wondering the room the slid towards my direction, which never happens. And I glanced down just in time. I think he noticed me staring though. This was so embarrassing, I felt like throwing up.

His body was still facing towards me and I didn't dare to look up, because if I found out he was looking at me, I just might die. I was sure of it. My heart would probably just give out. So I did what most teenagers wouldn't do, I started to take the most precise notes that anyone ever could. I didn't want to ignore Jared but I didn't want to seem like the freak that obsessed over him, so I had to make it look like I was doing something else.

Once the bell rang I just sat there waiting till he left first, so he wouldn't see how red my face had become. The only thing is that he didn't get up, I immediately worried about his hearing, did he not hear the bell? Maybe he has an infection, he should go see a doctor.

"Jared? You coming?" I heard Paul say to Jared, or well more like yell. Paul wasn't a quiet guy.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jared slowly get up and leave the room. I let out a huge sigh of relief, it looked like I didn't even notice him, and he defiantly didn't notice me. I could calm down, and headed off to my next class.

By the time I got to lunch I felt like this morning's mishaps were nothing, I was back to thinking about Jared in my own quite corner reading my book and nibbling on my sandwich.

The next couple of classes went by with ease; no one said anything rude to me. I ended up walking home in only a little splatter of rain. The trees by me kept rustling; I bet it was just the wind though.

The rest of the evening went by as usual, I wrote in my diary right before bed. _Not a bad day_, I thought to myself. _I got to see Jared's eyes._

Today I had a major test. One that counted for about 15% of my grade. I was so frazzled about it, I wanted to do a good job but I get so nervous before a test. It was in second period, math. Maths easy, but that doesn't erase my worries. I got dressed, ate breakfast and walked to school in a daze. The whole time trying to remember formulas.

Once I got in to first period I whipped out my math book to do some last minute studying. Even though I've studied for more than 10 hours for this exam. I was so caught up that I didn't even realise that someone was talking to me.

"Excuse me?" someone said as if asking this for the 3rd time.

I turned around and looking directly at me, was none other than the boy of my fantasy's. I stared at him, I couldn't look away. His eyes just drew me in, I couldn't help myself.

"Hello?" His beautiful voice asked. That's when I snapped out of it and blushed furiously. I nodded my head as in to indicate that I heard him, but he just kept looking at me. We stayed silent for another 2 minutes before he asked.

"Are you deaf?" he whispered. As if my face wasn't already red, it was on fire now. I shook my head, I am terrible at talking. I'd probably screw up what I was trying to say if I spoke out loud.

"Okay? Well I was wondering if you have an extra pencil," he said slowly as if I might not be able to understand him. I quickly flung out my pencil case and gave one to the god that was sitting next to me. He gave me this small smile, that was faint but defiantly there. He never smiles, ever. I can't believe it, he smiled for the first time, and at me. I was on a cloud. I made him happy.

"So, do you have a name?" His beautiful voice carried through my ears. My heart dropped from its high. I guess he didn't know my name. That was a painful truth.

I couldn't help it I had to look at him, and when I did it was the most heaviest look I've ever seen. He wanted an answer, almost demanding.

"Kim," My voice squeaked out. I can't believe I'm making such a fool of myself. I'm wasting his time, he deserves to be talking to much more important people than me.

"Well Kim," he caressed my voice with emotion, "I'm Jared."

I didn't know how to respond. It finally hit me that I'm talking to Jared Cameron, Mr. Popular himself. The player of the school, the most beautiful man on the earth.

I could tell that he was waiting for a response, so I waved at him. Even though we are only about 2 feet away. The teacher came in then and started the lesson, I looked towards the bored, but I noticed that Jared didn't . I turned towards him to check that he was alright, he was staring at me. My breath caught in my throat and I looked away fast. Really fast. I almost gave myself whiplash.

I was so nervous during the rest of the class that by the time the bell rang I booked it from my seat and was in my math classroom almost instantly, and I regretted it. I got the chance to be with Jared and I blew it. I totally turned it down, I wanted to cry by I couldn't because now I have an exam to write. Great.

I am positive that was the worst exam I have ever written, I did a horrible job on it. I even wrote down _'Jared'_ as a couple of answers. By the time I made it to lunch I really felt out of my normal routine and I didn't feel safe. I was sitting in my seat alone and trying to read. I couldn't focus on my book. Something is wrong. So at the time when I usually look up to see how Jared is I freak out. He is looking at me. This is crazy.

Wait, what am I thinking, there must be some hot girl walking past me. He's not looking at me. So I look down, feeling rejected. He's all I want in this world and I can't have him.


	3. Chapter 3

This morning I have a dilemma. I need a perfect outfit. If Jared's going to glance my way again I want to be well prepared. I put on a purple shirt and a pair on yoga pants, hoping the black would make me smaller looking. I combed my hair and was good to go.

While walking to school I was nervous all over again, but this time not because of a test but because of Jared.

Once I got to the school I went straight to my locker and opened it sticking my head inside for some privacy to calm down. It helped, but only a little. I went off to history class. I was halfway to my seat when I noticed that Jared was already there. That can't be? I show up like 10 minutes early, he usually shows up 10 minutes late.

I was about to walk around the desk to get to my seat when he stood up pushed in his chair so I wouldn't have to walk as far. I seriously thought for a minute I was dreaming. I couldn't be though; I wouldn't get all sweaty and nervous in a dream. I wanted to say thank you, I really did but I just couldn't do it. It's like my airway tightened and I was a mute.

"Hey," Jared said to me. Oh god, this isn't happening.

"H-hello," I stuttered out, embarrassed. But that only made him do that little smile thing I saw the other day.

"How was your sleep?" Did he really just ask me how my sleep was? I gaped at him for a minute then responded.

"Good?"

"Good? Or good," he pondered.

"Huh?" He was beyond confusing now.

"You seem unsure to whether it was good or not." He told me. But the only thing I heard was the fact that was the longest sentence he's ever spoken to me.

I am a person that really doesn't like to talk, and I just don't know what to say to him. This was the best and worst moment of my life.

"Alright we don't have to talk about your night…" He said hesitantly, squinting his eyebrows at me. But he seemed almost determined to talk to me and said, "What's your plans for today?"

Was he just being polite or did he want to spend time with me? Or worst of all, is he talking to me because of some joke. I really hope not, that would crush me.

"Homework," I answered. That threw him for a moment.

"That sounds... very boring," he replied, confused. "Don't you have plans to do something?"

Oh but I don't, in order to plan things you need friends. I think this was the longest conversation I've ever had with anyone other than a teacher at school.

I can't believe he's being so nice to me, I'm practically jumping with glee inside of. With all my mood swings I'm getting whiplash.

That's when class started and we had to stop talking. After a few minutes I heard a shuffling sound and looked to where the noise came from, it was a note. From Jared, for me. With a shaking hand I reached to grab it, it read:

_Don't you think Mr. Johnson's voice is like an alarm clock?_

I stifled a giggle. Yeah it was pretty annoying. I wrote back:

_I guess its time for you to wake up._

That's when I heard him laugh. The sound of his laugh was so deep and sexy I just couldn't help but look at him. He was looking at me to, almost studying me. It made me very self-conscious.

I wasn't listening to the teacher during this time and I only heard him say "Pop quiz!"

I heard Jared groan next to me, as we were passed out the test. I started right away, not wanting to embarrass myself in front of Jared again. The test was pretty easy, it was basic knowledge and I finished in mere minutes. I couldn't help but sneak a look at Jared. He was gaping at me and whispered, "How did you finish that so fast?" I blushed and shrugged.

For the next couple of minutes I watched Jared struggle with the test. I felt so bad for him; I worried so I slid my test over so he could see it. He looked over at me confused and murmured, "I won't take credit for your hard work."

I immediately felt stupid. Of course he doesn't want me to take pity on him, I hurt his ego. I basically flat out called him stupid. I couldn't look at him for the rest of class.

Once the bell went I packed up and went to my next class without glancing at Jared, afraid he would yell at me.

At lunch time I really didn't want to eat. I headed to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall and sank down in the corner or it. I just felt so uneasy that I couldn't help my actions. I pulled out my small razor blade from my bag and sunk it into my skin along my wrist. It took a bit of courage, but it made me feel more important.

I waited in the stall trying not to think, when I heard a couple of people come into the washroom.

"I know! Like so big!" a girl giggled.

"Awe man I wish I got to fuck him! God you two are so lucky."

"Why don't you hook up with him now? He's even hotter. Plus he likes his annual fuck." The girl that giggled said.

"Yeah, I guess that's right. I mean I slept with Paul, and their best friends. So I wonder if that would freak him out too much." The other girl replied.

They started to talk about other things after him. I was petrified and couldn't move. Please tell me they weren't talking about Jared. I mean I heard that he was a player but I always wished that maybe it wasn't true.

I sobered up a bit and headed for the next class, still quite upset. On my way there I felt the ground fall right under my feet. I smacked myself into the hard brick wall. Someone pushed me right into it without even noticing. I tried to graciously stand up. When I looked around I notice Jared. He was around 20 feet away from me; I prayed that he didn't see that. I jolted to my next class, and stayed silent the rest of the day, just like any other day


	4. Chapter 4

This morning I felt like crap. My eyes felt all puffy from crying last night, plus my cuts re-opened and got blood all over my shirt. I tossed my legs off of my bed and dragged myself to the washroom for a shower. The water splashing my back wasn't as calming as it usually was. I sighed, giving up. I dragged myself back to my bedroom to put on some clothes. Trying desperately to find another attractive outfit for Jared, but it seemed like I didn't own anymore. That really put a damper on my morning.

When I got to school I felt a tad better, no one was staring at me or noticed me enough to trip me down the hallway. I headed off to my first class.

He was there again. I think my heart skipped a beat. I went to go sit down, faster so that he wouldn't stand up for me again, I didn't want to get in his way. Once I sat down I made sure I kept my eyes on the desk.

"Hey Kim," Jared spoke. With his usual hard face on, but when I looked up I noticed his eyes. His eyes never seemed cold; they were always inviting and warm.

"H-hi," I stuttered.

"Are you alright?" he suddenly sounded alarmed.

"Yes, of course," I said trying to calm him.

"Oh. Okay," he said, unsure.

I had the chance to talk to him, again. I was not going to waste it this time.

"How-are-you," I said, mixing every word together.

"Pardon?"

"How are you," I spoke again, almost in a whisper because that was embarrassing.

"I'm doing pretty great this moment actually." As if there was some inside joke.

"That's great!" I practically yelled. I flushed, and looked down.

"It sure is Kim," I smiled. He kept saying my name, and I liked that a little too much.

Class started, no surprise. I listened a little bit but in truth my attention was all Jared's. That was until I heard what Mr. Johnson said.

"We will be partnering up for this project, with the person beside you. You will do an essay and a presentation on one of the following that we have discussed. Its due in a month and you better start working on it," when nobody moved he rolled his eyes. "As in start working, _now_."

With all my luck in the world. Jared is my partner.

Jared is my partner.

Wow.

"So _partner_, what topic do you want to do?" I practically glowed when he asked me this.

"I don't know, you pick." Was my response.

That's when the bell rang, and I started to pack up without one word to Jared.

That's when I felt a tap on my shoulder; I turned around to see Jared looking at me.

"Yes?" I squeaked.

"I'll," he paused. "See you around." And he walked away.

To say I was thrilled was an understatement. He talked to me and it wasn't because I was the only one sitting next to him or that it was school related. He said it because he wanted to, there would be no other reason.

I went to math in a good mood, which is when I passed a window and saw my reflection in it. My eyes were still puffy and as red as ever.

Walking home today was going to be hell, it was pouring like a mad man. I was on the path that took me home when a car stopped just in front of me; I kept on walking till I heard someone shout my name.

I turned around.

Jared.

"Hey Kim, why are you outside?" He sounded angry, no, pissed. I immediately felt bad.

"Sorry," I apologised. He looked confused.

"Get in," he ordered. I didn't skip a beat. I was in his car, because there was no way I was going to say no to Jared.

"You're walking home and it's raining?" he asked. I looked up at him and nodded my head.

"Why?" he said as if I was completely stupid.

"Home," was all I managed to say.

"Why don't you get a ride? Or drive? Or something else?" I just shrugged. "Where do you live?" he asked. I gave him my address and he started the car up again, we drove in uncomfortable silence. I just kept staring at my hands, freezing.

Once we got to my house I looked up, he was looking at me again. Should I say thank you? Or was this more like kidnaping. So I just stared.

"Uh Kim," Jared started and I felt bad. He must have to be somewhere and I'm making him late. I quickly opened the door and was about the jump out.

"Wait! Kim?" he said again, I turned towards him.

"I know this may sound sudden but I can't not... uhg." He took a gulp of air, "Would you like to go out with me?" he said.

I was so happy that my eyes started to water. My stomach clenched and I got this fuzzy feeling that ran through me. I nodded my head vigorously.

He did that little smile thing again, oh I love seeing that.

"Tomorrow at 8?" He asked, with that smile still on his face. He's still smiling? This can't be Jared, not the one that I know.

I nodded my head once again.

"Great. See you then," he murmured.

I stepped out of his car and almost painfully walked up the steps to my house, shut the door and collapsed on the ground.

He wants to date me? There is no way. I am so lucky, he wants me. I don't know how to make this clearer. The boy of my dreams for the past 10 years wants me. My knight in shining armour.

I bolted upstairs and wrote in my journal, I had to tell it everything.

I didn't eat super that night; I wanted to look thin for our date. My first ever date. I wondered what we'd do, it doesn't matter though as long as I'm with Jared


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning it was my outfit problems all over again. Today is Saturday though so I had the next 10 hours to get ready. That was a lot of time for me to worry. I went through my closet and pulled out anything that I thought would be appropriate.

In the end I decided on a pink dress with long sleeves and buttons up the front. Girls wear dresses on dates right? This way I looked classy. I also curled my hair which took absolutely forever. When I finished I looked in the mirror and my heart fell. _What's the point?_ I thought_. No matter what I do, I still look ugly_.

I was downstairs waiting, it was 7:30 and I was going crazy with all this anxiety I had. My parents weren't home, honestly I didn't know where they were.

It is now 8:00 and I'm starting to think I should tell him I'm sick and to go home. But I can't give this up, it's like a dream. I've only ever wanted him and now I practically have him. He's so perfect and amazing and I just can't wait to see him.

Now it's 8:30, I really hope he's alright. Maybe he got into a car crash? No, don't think like that Kim. It will only drive you crazy.

What if, what if this was all a joke? Play a trick on the girl that's in love with you, sort of joke. I felt my eyes start to prick with tears. That would make everything make sense.

I kept thinking like that until my doorbell rang, I jumped so high that I fell off the couch. He's here I told myself.

I went to answer the door and there he was his face so lovely to look at. I was so caught up in his face that I missed the fact that he was wearing dirty ripped jeans and a normal T-shirt. He wasn't dressed up at all. I felt like a fool, and I looked like an idiot. I stood there awkwardly looking at the floor.

"You ready?" He said. I nodded my head and walked outside with him to his car. He opened the door for me to get in. Oh my he's being such a gentleman with me, I felt so special that moment.

He walked around to the other side of the truck, got in and pulled out of my drive way.

"So how are you this fine day?" he asked me. It was pouring rain outside, nice day? I looked at him to see if he was joking. He defiantly was.

"Good... I sun tanned," I said lamely. He laughed anyway. I felt a shot of happiness course through me. He's joking around with me like I'm his friend.

"Aren't you wondering where we're going?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. He stared me down.

"You don't talk much, do you?" he murmured. I blushed and shook my head no.

"Why not?" he asked curiously. I Shrugged again. We stayed quite for a while till he spoke up.

"We're going to Port Angelus. I thought I'd take you to dinner." He said, almost unsure. I didn't know what to say so I just kept looking down.

He stopped the car in front or a restaurant with flower pots hanging off the walls. He stepped out of the truck and was on my side in seconds. He opened my door and again I felt special. He took my hand while I stepped out. When our hands touched it was like a spark hit me. I gasped it was so powerful. He immediately pulled his hand away and I felt sad.

"Let's get inside," he said to me. I felt my heart sink but I followed him.

Once we got inside I felt embarrassed. Everyone wore casual clothing while I was in a dress that now seemed very childish now. I walked in Jared's shadow as the host showed us to our table. Once again Jared showed how much of a gentleman he was because he pulled out my chair for me to sit down on.

I was so nervous; I wasn't sure what he usually talked about on dates. He's probably been on so many of them and this was my first one.

He would talk about himself after he found out that I really wouldn't speak. He was kind and a serious type of person, just like I had observed from the past. And boy did he eat a lot of food, he just kept on shovelling it into his mouth. I have no idea where he stored it all.

After a while he stopped putting pressure on me by staring at me and asking me questions. It was nice, I felt comfortable around him. He was my sunshine.

"You wanna get out of here?" He asked me once we finished our meal. I nodded my head and we left. Just as we got outside I felt Jared's hand slide into mine. There was that spark again and it felt amazing. I couldn't help but feel in a daze.

"Look, I have to go help Sam with some business. I would love to spend more time with you but I cant." He said, sounding very disappointed. I was disappointed as well.

"That's alright," I murmured.

He helped me in the car again, but this time his hand touched my waist, I jolted upwards.

"Sorry," he murmured quietly, and regretfully. Did I really just get mad at beautiful Jared for wanting to be with me, no way that's impossible. I wanted to slap myself.

Once we arrived at my house he walked me to the door. This is the part in the movies that the guy always kisses the girl. I was so worried. Would he kiss me or did he not have a good time on the date. I know I did.

"I'll see you Monday," Jared whispered in my ear. His hot breath tickled my neck and I shivered.

That's when his hand caressed my blemished cheek, I can't fathom why someone would want to touch that but he did. My heart was beating fast and I was anxious. I just stared at hips lips wondering, wondering what he would do. What if I wasn't a good kisser? Would I repulse him? He leaned in and gently brushed his lips on mine. And then he kissed me. He kissed me passionately, holding it for about 10 seconds. The best ten seconds in my entire life. My first kiss with my dream guy. I was on cloud nine. He pulled away and started walking towards his truck but then stopped. He turned around.

"Hey Kim, you look really pretty today," he said and then walked away. I just stood there, shell shocked. He thinks I'm pretty? No way, he really said that. I got into my house and started jumping up and down and squealing! I ran upstairs and hugged my stuffed animals. I am so happy; this was the best day I've ever had. I went to bed excitedly, I was just so happy.

If you could show me someone happier than me at this very moment, I wouldn't believe it. Because no one ever has their dreams come true exactly like they imagined it.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks j1u29 for that review. It made me happy to know that others are enjoying of how I pictured how this couple would be. Right after I read your review I started to write another chapter. Thank you.

On Monday I was so excited to go to school, more so than usual. I just cannot wait to see Jared. He has taken up my thoughts for the past 2 days. He's all I've been able to think about.

Heading to school this morning was nerve racking, I was just so restless. Once I got to school I planned on rushing to my locker so I could get to class and wait for Jared to arrive. When I ran to my locker and was trying to open it was when I realised there was someone waiting next to my locker for me. I turned around, and there was Jared looking straight at me.

"You in a rush to get somewhere?" He questioned me. I Immediately blushed and shrugged.

I grabbed my books from my locker and slowly closed it and looked at him, to see what he wanted.

"Give me your books," he stated. I have him a confused look.

"So I can carry them for you, duh." He said, cockily. We walked to our first class together. Together, as in me and Jared. Kim and Jared. That sounded perfect to me.

We walked to class really close to each other. I could feel the heat coming off of him. That made me all sweaty, I hope I don't stink.

What I wasn't planning on was that everyone was going to stare at us. Everyone, as in kids at their lockers, kids doing homework last minute, hell even kids where staring at us from outside through the window.

In their heads they must all be thinking the same question.

_What is jock Jared the school player, doing with that nerd?_

I felt so nervous. We must look like the most unbalanced couple ever.

I sat down as Jared passed me my books.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Anytime Kim. I was wondering…" Jared started to say, but stopped.

"Yes?" I squeaked.

"Want to hang out after school?" He asked me.

He wants to spend even more time with me? Oh I am living the dream. How could I say no to Jared?

"Sure," I smiled.

"Great," he said enthusiastically. Well as enthusiastic as serious Jared could muster.

The class went by fast. Jared would say jokes under his breath and they were all so funny I couldn't help but giggle.

When class ended I started picking up my things, that's when Jared grabbed my hand. I looked at him, feeling the emotion of our hands touching.

"Let me walk you to your class," he said. I gulped, and nodded my head.

As we walked hand in hand, I couldn't help but smile. His hand was warm and rough. He held me gently though, his hand completely engulfed mine.

We stopped outside my classroom and I turned to him, he lifted my hand and placed a kiss on it. Then walked away. I was speechless. He is the sweetest person alive. He just kissed me.

By the time lunch came I was just a very happy person, sitting eating my lunch while reading one of my favorite books. Thinking about Jared every few minutes. That's when I heard some shuffling. I looked up and there was Jared. Jared was sitting right across from me. Nobody ever sits with me, no one has ever wanted to.

He stared to dig into his meal while watching me. Why was he watching me? I don't understand.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Oh hey," he said with a mouth full of food. I smiled, he was adorable. I noticed that when I smiled, his eyes twinkled a little bit. Could that be because of me?

I didn't want to ignore him, but I was just so unsure of what to say to him. So I just sat their quietly and looked down, every now and then glancing up at him.

"Why are you sitting over here alone?'" Jared asked casually.

I blinked in surprise, was this not normal? Did sitting alone make me not popular.

"I always sit alone," I said shyly.

"But why?" He asked again, with a confused look on his face.

I couldn't believe he didn't know this already. What do I say to him? I wasn't sure how to word it, but here goes nothing.

"I don't have anyone to sit with," was my best possible answer. He seemed to understand this, and was happy about it. I was waiting for him to make fun of me when he said it.

"Perfect, you'll sit with me from now on," he said. I was shocked, he wanted to sit with me? Every lunch? I highly doubt it. I just nodded my head agreeing, thinking he will forget he said that by tomorrow.

I was wrong, he didn't forget. The next day went the same as the first. He walked me to my classes quietly and to lunch. When I started walking towards my normal table I felt my arm being pulled to a stop.

"Why don't you sit with me and my friends today?" Asked Jared. I didn't know what to say. He wants to be seen in public with me was the part that really threw me off.

"Why?" I asked before I could stop myself. I covered my mouth in horror.

"Well, I mean if you don't want to be with me you don't have to," his face looked torn. I could not believe I put him in pain. I wanted to cry right then and there. I started shaking my head furiously and practically ran to his table.

Jared sat down and I just stood there awkwardly. Did he clear this over with his friends? Or would they kick me out? I was so nervous I started to shake. Jared looked up at me, with wondering eyes. I sat down awkwardly. It seems like everything I'm doing lately is awkward.

"Guys, this is Kim," Jared said normally, but everyone stopped talking and turned towards me. With either a look of disgust or confusion on their face.

"So this is Kim," said a boy. I turned to see who said it. It was someone I recognised, It was Paul.

"Now Jared why are you hiding her? I'd love for you to share some of that, what do you think baby?" Paul smirked at me. My jaw hit the floor, I can't believe he just said that.

That's when a fork went flying and was going to hit Paul square in the face. But Paul's hand flashed up and grabbed it before it hit him, if you would have blinked you would of missed it.

"Shut the fuck up Paul," Jared said. I was uncomfortable. First off I am not used to people swearing, it made me scared. Second of all I don't like being around angry people, and Paul looked pissed. Thirdly, was Jared being nice to me for…sex?

I couldn't, I didn't know how. I mean, I never have. But I wouldn't ever say no to Jared. I wanted him to be happy, and if I could help I would. I'm just another one of the girls he uses.

I looked down at my hands and started playing with my fingers and nails, no longer hungry.

"Fuck," Jared breathed beside me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him run his fingers through his hair.

"Umm, hey Kim?" Jared asked me, I nodded my head but couldn't look up.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party my friend is throwing tonight. You in?" he asked.

I just got invited to my first party. With Jared.

"Sure," I said quietly. I was surprised when he heard me, "Cool." He said

I didn't say anything the rest of lunch period, nor did anyone say anything to me. I'm sure I killed the mood at the table.

At the end of the day I headed to my locker, still thinking about tonight. What do teenagers do at party's? I was just so unsure.

I stopped in the middle of the hallway when I noticed, Jared was waiting at my locker. All the losers standing around wear gaping at him. Just like me. That's when he looked up and saw me. He gave me that little smile, that lights up his entire face.

I blushed and walked up to him.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hey Kim," he whispered back to me, imitating me. This made me blush like crazy, he laughed.

"Anyway," he leaned in and whispered into my ear. "Need a ride home?" His hot breath tickling my ear. I nodded, not really sure what I was agreeing to.

He leaned back and waited for me to get my stuff out of my locker. We walked outside to the parking lot till we got to his truck. Once again he opened the door for me, it was just so…un-Jared like to think of others. Not that he's a selfish person just that small gestures like this he usually didn't do.

We were driving in silence till he broke it.

"What kind of music do you like?" He asked, fiddling with the radio.

"I-it doesn't matter," I blushed. I stuttered a lot and it was so embarrassing when someone caught me.

"Good to know, but what do you like?" He asked again as if his life depended on small trivia facts about me.

"Country," I said to satisfy him.

"Sweet," he said as he turned the radio to a country station.

We arrived at my house and he pulled into my driveway I turned to him.

"Thanks," I said shyly.

"Anytime, really." He said sincerely. Then he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.

I got out of the car dizzily. He kissed me again; there was nothing in the world more satisfying than Jared kissing me.

"Oh and Kim, I'll come get you at 9:00!" I heard Jared shout over his engine as he pulled away.


	7. Chapter 7

I got into my house still light headed; my parents were home I noticed. They were watching TV. They didn't notice me.

I ran upstairs to my room wondering what i should wear tonight. I didn't want to be all dressed up again like last time. I looked through my closet and decided the least embarrassing thing was to just wear what I had on today.

9:00 was coming way to slow. I was getting more and more nervous. I was to the point of shaking.

At 8:50 I headed downstairs, I wonder if he'll be late again? Gee I hope not. At 9:00 I heard his car pull in. I ran outside and expected to find him waiting in his truck but he was waiting at the passenger door holding it open for me. It was just the sweetest thing.

Once I got in I noticed that he had a country station on again. He remembered, that made my heart just glow.

When we arrived at the party I was shocked

I thought the party would be like when I was younger without all the little kid games. I was wrong. There were a lot of people outside laughing and kissing. I was so nervous. We got out of his truck and headed up the driveway and inside the house. There were people everywhere you turned.

"Hey Jared!" I heard someone call.

"Hey bro," Jared said back to the guy as they did this tap on the shoulder hug.

"Jared my man! Did you wanna join me and some girls upstairs and get baked?" They guy asked.

Girls? What did he mean girls? Was Jared going to leave me downstairs? And what did baked mean?

"No thanks, I'm here with Kim. Kim this is joey, this is his place." Jared said.

"H-hi," I said.

"Why you whispering?" Joey yelled at me, and then walked away waving behind his back at us.

"Sorry about him, he's almost done." Jared said to me.

"What do you mean done?" I asked, curious.

"What do you think it means?" Jared said sarcastically, this was the very first time I felt stupid. Jared noticed.

"Sorry Kim, I didn't mean to sound rude," Jared said grabbing my hands in his. Enveloping my hands with heat.

"It's f-fine," I stuttered out. He didn't seem to believe me but dropped the subject anyway.

"Wanna drink?" Jared asked me.

"Sure," I said and followed him to the kitchen where he poured a small amount of liquid into two cups and handed one to me. He took a drink of his, so I did the same.

I ended up choking on it and spitting it back in the cup.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Why is something wrong? It's just vodka," Jared said, sounding worried.

Vodka. Jared took me to a party to drink vodka. He does this all the time I realised. His perfect life wasn't good enough and he needs to drink. And I'm the loser who never has, and I think Jared just found out.

"You don't… you don't drink do you? Jared asked. I shook my head, no.

"Well, what did you expect to do at a party?" He asked, completely confused. I've never felt so uncomfortable.

"I-I d-don't know," I stuttered badly. I was freaking out.

Jared just kept looking at me.

"Hey Jared, you got a smoke I can have?" Some drunk guy asked him. Jared completely ignored him.

"You're not in the party scene…" Jared murmured, more to himself.

I was starting to cry, to my horror. Just small tears leaking from my eyes, I ducked my head hoping Jared didn't see.

"Come on," he said, and I followed him. He led me outside and into his truck, this time I opened my own door. I was scared; he thought I was a loser. It was all over. He never wanted to be with me again. He just wanted to have sex with me, I knew it was too good to be true.

"All you wanted was to get laid with me," I thought. Or at least I thought I thought.

The car pulled to the side of the road so fast I got whiplash.

"What!" Jared screamed.

I did say it out loud. Crap.

I just kept looking down, crying silently.

He waited for me to say something, he started to shake when I didn't.

"You think that lowly of me Kim, what the fuck?" he said harshly. His words hit me like a whip.

I looked up slightly; he was staring at me so I quickly looked down. Hoping he didn't see my wet face, but I heard his gasp. He noticed. He instantly stopped shaking and reached out a hand to me, but then pulled it back as if unsure what to do.

"Kim I… I did not take you there to have sex with you," he sounded appalled. I guess my body was that bad.

"I though you liked that sort of thing, you know just to hang out. I never realised that you thought…" He stopped speaking and if someone was strangling him. I wonder how much he drank?

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Kim, please don't cry. I'm really sorry." He apologised. Wait he's apologising? Oh great now I'm a pity case.

I shrugged.

"Now you won't even talk to me," he sounded like he wanted to cry as well. I didn't want him to hurt.

"S-sorry, I'll t-talk," I stuttered out again, feeling terrible for upsetting him.

He put his hand on my chin and forced me to look at him.

"You don't ever have to apologise to me, you can never do anything wrong." He told me. I blushed and nodded.

Well...do you want me to take you home or do you want to spend time with me?" He asked, nervously. I have never seen Jared nervous in his life. Yet he was nervous because of me.

"What do y-you suppose we do?" I whispered. He thought for a moment.

"Want to go to the beach; we can watch the sun set." He suggested and I agreed to go with him.

The rest of the drive was silent.

Once we got there he opened my door for me to get out. We walked side by side for about 10 minutes till he spoke.

"Take off your shoes," he said. I gave him a look, he laughed.

"No trust me," he said. So I did and I stood there awkwardly. I gave him another quizzical look when he took off his shoes to.

"It's too bad you aren't wearing that dress you wore last time," he said. So he did notice my dress, he just didn't say anything.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because then you wouldn't get your pants wet," he said. I was still confused. Then out of nowhere he picked me up and ran through the water, splashing everywhere. I screamed, I was just so shocked, I heard him laugh at that.

He put me down gently in the water that was up to my knee.

"What was that for?" I asked and smacked his shoulder, surprised by my own boldness. He gave me a cocky grin.

"Your feet were dirty," he smiled.

Jared smile was the most beautiful thing in the world. No matter how many times I see it, it always stuns me.

We ended up just walking along the end of the beach for about an hour, mainly in silence. Every now and then he would bring up a question like what my favorite food was.

"Come on," Jared said. We walked back to wear our shoes were. When I went to grab them though Jared pulled me down to the sand and laughed, lying down next to me. I looked down at him and he looked so happy, his serious charade almost gone.

"Hey," he murmured. I shyly waved at him.

"You're cute," he said. I laughed and shook my head looking at the ground.

I felt him sit up next to me.

"Yes you are Kim," He said more seriously.

"Thanks," I mumbled, playing with the sand. He grabbed my hands. I looked up and saw something shining in his eyes. I didn't understand.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"You can't laugh," he mumbled.

"Okay."

"I," he paused, took a breath and said, "I really like you Kim. More than I have ever liked a girl. I can't explain it now but I really want to spend time with you." He said. It was like I was reading a fairy-tale. He really actually likes me, maybe even a fraction of how much I like him. I couldn't say anything, my throat was swelling with happiness and my eyes watering. I was just so happy.

"Kim! No I really mean it, I'm not trying to get in your pants I swear I really do like you!" Jared said worriedly. He misinterpreted my tears. He thought I was sad. I was embarrassed all over again. I smiled weakly and nodded my head to show him I understood what he meant.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"God, don't freak me out like that," he said exhaustedly. That caused me to smile even wider.

He smiled at my smile, it was beautiful.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked full on, not nervous at all this time. He was running on pure adrenalin.

Is it possible for someone's dreams to come true? Exactly as they dreamed? For happiness to be real? Is it possible for life to make up for all its mistakes? For someone as perfect and as handsome as Jared to exists? Do I want to be his girlfriend?

Yes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks you everyone who gave me a review, I read everyone and appreciate it lots. As well as those who just read it, it's a joy to read a story as well as write one.**

**I thought I'd let you see how Jared sees Kim. Look through his eyes for a while.**

* * *

><p><strong>Jared's POV:<strong>

"_Do you like that?" I murmured into her ear._

"_Yes," she moaned breathy._

_Her moan did erotic things to me, I couldn't imagine anything more sexy._

_I lightly grasped her breasts in my hands and fondled them, she arched her back begging for more. It was adorable, her shy personality didn't match the actions she was doing now._

_I slid my hands all over her beautiful body. It's as if she was carved by angles. I moved my hands lower, just above the area I wanted to feel most_…

"Get up! I'm done with patrol, your turn!"

"Awe fuck," I said into my pillow.

Another dream.

It's not the first time I have had a sex dream about Kim. I can't really help myself. I swear she walks the way she does just to see how I react. Which is annoying, but I don't want her to stop.

"Paul don't you ever wake me up again," I said angrily at him.

"Dreaming bout' little old Kim again?" He asked cockily, face stuffed full of food.

"Shut up," I said quietly, that made him laugh loudly.

Asshole.

It's the weekend, which used to make me so happy. Id usually get wasted and sober up during school. But now it doesn't work like that, because at school I get to see Kim.

God she's amazing, everything she does is perfect, she is perfect. Makes sense.

I can't wrap my head around the idea that I hadn't noticed her last year, or the year before that, cause I'm pretty sure she's not new. I'm not going to ask her that though, it's like a stab at my chest when I say certain things that may hurt her feelings.

I just want to be with her right now, she makes me feel alive. She makes me want to smile, which I'm sure looks pretty stupid. I'll take note to not smile around her, it probably makes me look unattractive to her. All I want to do is please her and the only thing that's happening right now is that she's pleasing me. She makes me so happy, but that's not what I want. It's nice but I want her to be happy.

She agreed to be my girlfriend, I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Her face is the most treasured piece of artwork out there. Her startling deep brown eyes, her eyelashes are so long and thick they practically hit her cheek bones. Her lips are thin but plump. If I could kiss her all day I would. I would also like to do more than kiss her; she's got one hell of a body.

She's got the hottest but, I'm an ass kind of guy. It's just so distracting, it's been the hardest thing ever not to reach out and grab it.

Shit! I shouldn't be thinking like that. She thought the reason I asked her out was to get some of her ass. That's insane, she's not a whore. And I was making her feel like one.

The pain tears at my chest when I screw up like that. Sam told me not to think about that night when I took her to that party because of how much pain it put me in.

I made her uncomfortable, and I almost broke her trust. I want her to trust me, no I need it. I love her so much; I will do whatever she wants.

She's shy but it's hot on her. The only bad part about that is she's so unsure about herself. I want her to know how perfect she is, I will spend my whole life trying to tell her that.

My whole life with Kim, that doesn't sound half bad.

I got up to take a shower, I had dirt in my hair from Paul last night. Like I said, asshole.

I got in and the water splashed on me, I don't know if it was hot or cold. I just couldn't tell anymore. Like the temperature of Kim's skin, sometimes she gets really cold and I start to get all tense and worried about her.

She's just so beautiful, I wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable. I'm going to make her a comfortable as she can possibly get.

Shit, thinking about her again gave me an erection. This is getting out of hand. I haven't had sex in about 2 months, my dicks not used to this. Other girls don't hold any appeal to me anymore. And I promised Kim I wasn't going to do that to her. I feel guilty thinking about her like that but I have to.

Masturbating in the shower, this is what I have come to.

I wonder what Kim's doing right now? Man I should see if she wants to hang out with me today.

I ran to Sam's house after I showered, half clothed like always. I walked in through the front door and saw Emily in the kitchen.

"Morning Em," I said.

"Oh hi Jared, you joining us for breakfast?" Emily said kindly, she was like a mom to me. A really young mom I guess, but I can't help but not love her. She's Sam's imprint, we all feel a connection to our brothers imprints. Plus she cooks, so I like her.

"Duh," I said, she hit me with the dish towel.

"Looks like you're getting whipped by more than one person, eh Jared?" Paul walked in.

"I'll eat your food Paul," I threatened. He got that serious look on his face.

"Your wouldn't," he retorted. I raised my eye brow as if to question him. That's when Sam walked in.

"Guys," he said half-heartedly. He walked straight to Emily to see how she was. I don't judge that anymore, I understand. I used to think he was just fucked before.

"That's what you look like to you know? Like an idiot." Paul told me. Right before I was about to throw something at Paul Sam spoke.

"Paul your taking Jared's shift this morning," my face lit up but his was pissed.

"Fuck you guys," he said.

"Watch your language!" Sam shouted at Paul as he left the house.

"Go see Kim Jared," Sam said with an understanding voice.

"Bring her here tonight for supper," Emily said. "I would like to meet her." I nodded my head.

Even if I didn't bring her over Sam would of gone and got her, just to please Emily.

I ran to Kim's, excited to see my girl. Hope she's up by now. I ran to her door and rang the doorbell, I waited.

I heard slow steps down the stairs from inside. She fumbled with opening the door then she pulled it open.

She stood there in the cutest thing I think I've ever seen. She was wearing pink teddy bear pajama pants and long sleeved shit. She had big white fluffy slippers on and the widest eyes I've ever seen.

"Hey Kim," I said.

She just looked at me. It was times like this when I though she didn't like me or I was annoying her, I kind of did force myself into her life without her OK.

I stood there unsure till I noticed her eyes wavered down for a second. Oh yeah, I forgot a shirt. And shoes. That wasn't suspicious at all.

I quickly thought up an idea.

"Wanna go to the beach?" that would make sense as to why I wasn't fully dressed. Good thing it was sunny out.

She blushed bright red, another adorable thing about her.

"S-sure," I wasn't sure why she stutters, but I don't know how to ask.

"Sweet," I said. We just stood there for a minute longer till she realised that we were doing nothing.

"C-come in," she whispered. I walked inside.

I don't know why she was being quite, maybe she didn't have anything to say? Or maybe I as over analyzing things. It hurt my head to do that.

She started to go up the stairs so I followed, She looked nice from behind.

We walked down a narrow hallway and she took a left so I did to.

It was her room. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a 10 year olds room who loved princesses.

It was filled with pink, teddy's and princess stuff. There were even coloring books on the floor.

That's when I realised I'm being the biggest pig ever.

She was so innocent, she probably didn't even know I was sexually attracted to her. That can't mean, no. She must be a virgin.

"Cute," I said to her because I think she was waiting for me to say something.

I barely know her at all, I thought I was starting to get to know her but I was wrong. I didn't even know she liked bears.

"Here I'll wait outside for you to change," I said I waited in the narrow hallway. I tried not to think about how she would look in a swim suit. Maybe she will wear a bikini, oh god.

She came out in a huge looking tee shirt with what looked like no pants, and sunglasses on her head. Oh fuck, she has nice legs to. There can't be such a person with that much perfection.

We drove in silence; I was becoming accustomed to that. I noticed her fidgeting.

"Why do you do that?' I wondered aloud.

"What?" she squeaked.

Adorable.

"Fidget," I stated.

She stopped immediately. "Oh, sorry."

"No I don't care. I'm just wondering why," Why would she be sorry?

"Habit I guess," She said quietly.

"Well it's not need to apologise," I said as lightly as possible, so she won't think I'm mad. I thought I was getting better at controlling my anger, guess not.

I pulled into the small parking lot next to one of the nicer beaches in La Push. I opened the door for her and she stumbled out.

"Smooth," I laughed. She frowned at me, which only increased my laughter.

"Let's go _tan_," I said mockingly. A Quileute getting a tan, what a joke.

We walked out on the beach and I was struck again by her beauty. In the sunlight it seemed like she got even more amazing.

We sat down together and just did nothing for a few minutes. She sat their rigidly, that can't be comfortable. Plus it was boiling outside, why was she still wearing her shirt?

Once I thought that, I wanted her to take it off. All of her clothes actually-shit! I've Got to stop thinking like that. She deserves better.

"Aren't you hot?" I asked bluntly.

"Oh… yeah," she said softly and took off her shirt.

I was a bit disappointed, no bikini. But you could still see her legs, that's a bonus. Being the pig I am I asked her why.

"Why don't you wear a bikini?"

She blushed, neon red.

"I-I," she stuttered.

"I…," I said. Pushing for the answer, still put out on not getting to see her half nude.

Instead of answering she pinched the skin on her stomach. Okay that is a weird answer. I don't get it, but I dropped it anyways.

I ended up lying down next to her, exhausted still even though I slept for at least 4 hours last night. I watched her look out at the water and fidget. She noticed me staring.

"What?" she asked, subtly wiping her face with her hand.

"Nothing," I murmured. Straight faced as usual. But there was something, she looked pretty at this angle to.

I felt the wind blow sand over my face.

Oh shit, I fell asleep.

I turned next to me to see if Kim was still there, she wasn't. I panicked for a couple of seconds, worst 2 seconds of my life.

She was sitting in front of me, I calmed down immediately.

She was playing in the sand? Is that right?

I looked closer to notice she built a tiny castle. How cute, she looks like a teenager but acts like a toddler. This is adorable, just like her teddy bears.

"How long did that take you?" I asked.

She jumped back in surprise and put a hand on her heart. I could hear it, beating loudly. Better than any song in the world.

"Jesus," was her reply. Ha.

"So little architect, I'm sorry for falling asleep on you." Truly I was very sorry. I wasted the precious time that I had with her. I'm suck an idiot sometimes.

"A couple o-of hours," she said and shrugged, as if she didn't mind.

"Fuck," I ran my fingers through my hair. "Sorry babe, I didn't mean to."

"That's alright," she said quickly, she looked... thrilled? She's confusing, but I'm determined to figure her out.

What did I say that made her so happy?

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Around six," she said while admiring her castle.

"Oh! Suppers in 30. Did you want to come?" I asked, remembering Emily had wanted to meet her. And I wanted to make up for losing time with her.

"W-where?" she hesitated.

"At Emily's."

"Who's Emily?" she asked with a frown. I wonder if she knew her.

"Sam's chick," I replied.

"Chick?" She made a face.

"Girlfriend?" I said. Not understanding her question.

"Oh… Oh yeah sure," she said sounding cool with it, and relieved.

"Great," I gave her a little smile and she stared at me with open eyes, I looked down. What part of _'don't smile at her'_ don't I get?

"Here I'll take you home so you can get dressed, then we'll head on over," I told her.

"Don't you have to get dressed?" She asked shyly, as if she shouldn't be talking to me.

"Na, its Emily, she likes it when half naked guys come over."


	9. Chapter 9

**I apologise for the long time it took to update. I'm plotting out where I want this story to go. I will be seeing this story through to the end.**

**Also Jared and Kim are my favorite couple from the wolf pack, if any of you know of really good fics, I would love to read them.**

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><p>Kim's POV:<p>

There's something I once read in a book, it wasn't a happy statement. It scared the crap out of me. It made sense though.

'_There's an empty room at the end of the hall, and it's begging to swallow you whole. Each step you take makes it easier to fall on your face.'_

It means, taking chances, or walking out of your comfort zone ends in disaster.

Don't take chances.

And I was making a huge one.

If Jared ever realizes that he can do better, I am defiantly going to fall on my face.

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><p>We walked together up the steps to this little cottage. I felt extremely hideous walking next to a model.<p>

The cottage screamed happiness, from the inside and out. It made me feel lonely, my house wasn't like this at all.

Packed inside the place were a lot of people, mainly all boys. Or men, by the looks of it. Each and every one of them was shirtless. I gulped; I could feel nervous sweat starting to bead on my forehead and in my palms.

I am going to make a fool of myself, in front of Jared. No, no, no, this can't be happening…

They all turned our way, starring. My throat closed up.

"Hey guys, this is Kim," Jared spoke.

I just stared at the ground unsure of what to do. I want to sink into the floor and disappear.

"Kim? " Jared said.

I couldn't say anything, I am so embarrassed.

"Hey Jared can you take the garbage out?" I heard a voice say.

"But Kim's not oka-" she cut him off.

"Just do it!" she laughed.

I looked up and jumped, the lady had scares flowing down half of her entire face. I looked down, not wanting to stare. I was already having an anxiety attack.

She put her hand on my back and led her to the kitchen; it was slightly cut off from everyone in the dining area.

"I'm Emily," she spoke in a soft voice.

She didn't wait for me to answer, thankfully. She didn't force me to speak like others would. I sorta like her.

"Don't mind the boys, their animals. When they meet someone new they just stare, I know it's uncomfortable." They noticed I was uncomfortable? I'm so embarrassed. I just want to leave and I've barely been here 5 minutes.

The door made a shudder, "Hey, why can't Sam take out the garbage?" Jared said as he walked in.

"Cause Sam's not the one who ate all the muffins!" Emily scolded.

I peeked from under my eyes to look at Jared, he just rolled his eyes. Then he noticed my looking and raised an eyebrow.

Why does he have to notice me looking at him? He never has before. All of a sudden he's much more aware of my starring.

He grabbed my hand and led me into the dining area where everyone sat in chairs around an old wooden table.

Jared sat down and I noticed there were no chairs around him, so I just stood there awkwardly until I felt hands grab my waist and pull me down.

I was sitting on Jared's lap. Please God don't let me do anything stupid I was already blushing insanely.

"So your Jared's girlfriend? Eh?" asked a boy in the corner.

I wasn't sure what to say, did Jared want people to know were dating? Or was this like secret?

I looked up at him and I must of looked terrified because he practically screamed at me.

"Are you okay Kim?"

I nodded, ashamed.

"I'll take that as a yes, cause Jared doesn't usually give a fuck about people." Said the boy again.

"Fuck off Brady," Jared said angrily.

"Boys!" I heard Emily yell from inside the kitchen. And they all went back to whatever conversation they were having until I came in. They all ignored me, but they talked to Jared. I felt relived, to not have to talk. But I also felt terrible because they didn't want to talk to me. Like most people don't.

It was actually kind of funny listening to them talk, they bickered with each other. They kept making fun of each other, but it seemed to be all good fun. I even laughed a couple of times.

"Alright! No more swearing! There are lady's present." Emily laughed, and right away I heard Sam apologies to Emily.

"Whipped!" half of the boys laughed at Sam

"Did you say you wanted extra patrols?" Sam asked.

They all shut up immediately. I heard Emily snicker, but I didn't get what was so funny, or what Sam meant either.

I turned to look at Jared to see if he understood. But he just hugged me tighter and snuggled his face into my neck. I stopped breathing; he was so close to me, I was so rigid with nerves.

Jared breathed on my neck, it was enough to restart my heart and it was as fast as a race horse. I heard him laugh in my ear.

"Wanna go home?" He breathed.

I nodded kind of dizzy.

"Yo guys, I'm heading out," Jared spoke up.

"Awe Jared my boy wants Kimmy all to himself!" Paul laughed.

"Na, you just smell of wet dog," Jared replied icily. Everyone laughed but again I felt out of the loop with the inside jokes.

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><p>I'm in love with Jared,<p>

I always have been, since the day I saw him.

But now I really love him, since the day I _Met_ him

I can't believe we've been going out for this long. He's so perfect I can't help but ogle him. I feel like I finally have a best friend. I want to make him happy, that's my life goal. Because, well… he is my life.

I grabbed my computer and Googled 'how to make your boyfriend happy'

I wanted to be the best girlfriend ever. I didn't want to disappoint him, I'm sure I already was.

I just want to be perfect for him. I'm far from.

I'm too fat for him, I have scars all down my arms; my wrists were brutalized with the amounts of cuts. I wish I could be beautiful for him, I've been trying to eat less so that he doesn't have to be so embarrassed with me. I want to make him happy, but I have no clue with this relationship stuff.

I started to read all the links that Google gave me, I think my heart stopped.

He totally wants to you know...do it with me. It says that's why guys have girlfriends. Oh no, I haven't done anything with him! That's defiantly what he wants.

Wait, I can fix this I can umm… do it. I never have before though, what if I'm bad at it? He might not want to be my friend.

I want to make him happy, I keep telling myself that but I'm not sure how to.

If I have... sex with him, I will screw it up. I don't want to show my body, to anyone.

But for Jared…

I'd do anything for that boy.

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><p><em>You can review anonymously if preferred. <em>


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm sorry for the 4 month wait, or however long for me to update this. Talk about major writers block. So here's a longer chapter for you, that I hope answers all your questions that you've had!**

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><p>Everything about him is just so glorifying. He smiles and the world seems to cheer. If there is a god out there, he has sent me a perfect angle. Someone who I could worship.<p>

I'm thinking about Jared to calm me down, I'm so nervous right now. Just thinking about touching him in any physical way sends me on an over-scale panic attack.

I can fantasize about him just fine, but when you start putting together a plan that you intend to put into motion, that's a whole other thing.

I walked down the stairs to get some lunch; I've been cooped up in my room all day.

Dread hit me smack in the chest when I saw that my parents were not only home, but in the kitchen.

They stopped and glanced over at me. Bile rose in my throat.

"What do you want?" my mother questioned in a tone that told me she was bored.

"Nothing," I managed to stutter out.

"Then, go."

"Okay," I opened the fridge quickly, intending to grab some food and run upstairs.

"Did you not hear your Mother!" My, drunk, father screeched at me.

I jumped back totally mortified. It wasn't unlikely that my Dad would take a swing at me. I booked it up to my room and locked the door.

I was terrified that he was going to run up here and start where he left off.

The pain that I remember is just unnerving, he was a terrible terrible father.

I could hear them talking downstairs.

"She doesn't need to eat…so fat anyway," my Mother's voice traveled up through the vents.

Tears pricked at my eyes, I can't handle this.

Back to visioning Jared again…

Calm.

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><p>I woke up calmer, just picturing Jared's beautiful features. From his deep brown eyes to his neon white teeth.<p>

I was calm until I remembered that he was going to leave me.

He's bound to give up on me so soon, he's not getting what he wants from me.

Shit, shit shit!

No I had to make him stay. I pulled out my razor, I had to do something. This was unbearable.

The moment I feel the first sting of what I know is about to come, reality comes back. It's an amazing feeling. It's my favorite part of the cut, just knowing that I'm going to follow through and make a deep tear in my skin. It's like being on cloud nine. It's that feeling of butterfly's being released from your stomach.

Its happiness. I think.

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><p>Sitting in first and second class went by in a blur, I was so anxious to see my Jared. No that's not right, he didn't 'belong' to me. I'm not going to be that clingy girlfriend.<p>

'_RING'_ I threw my stuff into my bag and headed out the door.

"Ahhhh!" my sides were being squeezed and I felt all control of my feet go away.

"whoa. Oh, sorry Kim, I didn't mean to sneak up on you." He sounded shocked that he even got a reaction out of me.

I must seem like such a fool to him. All I ever do is act like some stupid freak. So instead of a response, I blushed like a fool.

"Mind if I walk you to lunch?" he shuffled his feat awkwardly. I nodded, the less I talk the better.

His eyebrows knitted together.

"You… mind?"

"No! I mean.. uhh.."

"Oh, okay. Come on," he took my hand in his and slowly led me to the cafeteria.

His hand felt so warm, so soft. Jesus I'm staring at his hand, that's not embarrassing at all.

We stood in the line for food as Jared rubbed circles on the back of my hand.

"What would you like?" he whispered in my ear, straight faced like always. He almost seemed bored, but he usually did.

"..N-nothing," I managed to squeak out.

Fat.

Always to fat.

"You're not hungry at all?" he seemed bewildered by this.

I shook my head, no.

"How can someone not be hungry.." he said more to himself.

He bought a mountain of food. Everything in the cafeteria. I'm not kidding.

"By the way, I expect you to eat some of this," he said.

He.. bought me lunch? Oh my, swoon.

I followed him to the table of all his friends; they were laughing and having a good time. It put a smile on my face.

I sat next to Jared and a boy named Embry.

"Kay, who would win in a fight? Jared or Sam? Go!" Paul said to Embry.

"I'm not answering that," he said while devouring his food.

"Awe come on man! Don't be a pussy."

"There's no right answer to that question, asshole." Embry rolled his eyes at Paul.

"Your such a little bitch, there is so!"

"Yeah, if I say Sam, Jared will rip me a new one right here! And if I say Jared, Sam will find out later anyway, and probably, I-don't-know, rip me a new one!" Embry responded.

"Guys, why don't I just settle this and say me," Jared said cockily.

I snickered a little bit. Jared's head whipped around to me and my small noise, and I think, I'm not sure because I ducked my head so fast. But I think he smiled, a little.

I made Jared smile.

Lunch went by fine, I didn't speak and no one forced me into a conversation. I felt ..comfortable.

Getting up to go to class, I knew I had to ask now, before I had a panic attack and lock my jaw up.

"Jared, want-to-hang-out-after-school?" I said, in a jumbled rush.

"Pardon?" he said lightly, bending his face down to my level.

He didn't hear me? There was no way I could repeat that.

"Kim?" he asked after I didn't respond, I love the way my name sounded on his voice.

"Yea?" I asked in a daze.

"What did you ask me?" the corner of his lips slightly tugged up.

"Hang out?" I managed.

"I'd love to," he said yes.

I let out a breath of relief.

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><p>After school he drove me to his place, it was a quite car ride, just the hum of the radio in the background. It would usually mean a comfortable ride. But on the inside I was having a crazy battle of nerves.<p>

We reached his place and he took me inside.

"Hungry?" he asked, I shook my head. He got me a glass of juice anyway.

He sat down on the couch and ate his sandwich.

I was standing next to the couch, nervously sipping my juice.

Now or never.

I sat on my knees on the couch facing him , he looked up to me. As if we were going to start a conversation.

I pushed my lips to his, hard and fast. He immediately fell into the kiss, I was grateful for that.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. For someone so big and strong he had the gentlest touch. His lips caressed mine, he sucked lightly on the bottom and took even breaths through his nose so he wouldn't have to pull away.

I on the other hand was nowhere near as graceful as he was. I was panting into his mouth, his delicious taste. It would be so easy to get carried away in his touch…

But I had to make him feel good. Make him happy, that's all I want.

I shakingly rubbed my hand from his shoulder to his elbow. I tried to steady my hand but it was no use.

I moved my leg over his lap so that I could be in a straddling position on top of him.

I liked the feel of his hot body between my legs.

Then I realized.

"Sorry," I said quickly.

"For?" he asked, not stopping kissing me.

"I'm heavy," I tried to get of his lap, while thinking _'big mistake, big mistake'_

"Ha, right," he murmured and pulled me closer.

_Start now! So he doesn't get a sore lap! _My mind was screaming at me.

I shoved my hand out from behind his neck and roughly grabbed his penis through his pants.

He gasped. I pulled away immediately.

"Sorry, sorry.." I mumbled embarrassed, face heating up.

"No no, I like that don't worry," he assured me very fast, with an urgency I've never seen on him before.

"I just didn't think you were really into.." he left the sentence hanging to be whatever I seemed fit.

He nodded at me encouragingly, and slowly led my hand back to its former position with his own.

I pressed down on his jeans, and his eyelids closed slightly. I groped harder, and I felt him…growing harder. I felt all nervous, but I continued to squeeze gently.

"More," he murmured.

_Do as he says Kim! Don't freeze up because you're not ready. He is and that's all that matters._

I undid his jeans with my now permanently shaking fingers.

Commando. The love of my life, goes commando.

I had expected underwear, I didn't think I would see him so soon. I froze slightly, he was...huge. Was that supposed to fit in me? That'll hurt, I know it will.

I grabbed him with my hand and Jared's entire body shuddered. I griped it roughly, all the research I did on the computer I suddenly forgot. I had no idea what to do next. I wanted to cry.

"Come on babe, " Jared said with his eyes closed and head tilted back.

It felt like a slap to the face that I wasn't doing it right. I pulled my hands away, and tried to slow the tears_. 'Come on babe'_ he can get this from any girl, he gives you a chance and you screw it up.

"I'm s-sorry," I said with shaking hands in front of me.

He opened his eyes in confusion, and then bolted to a sitting position, his eyes at full attention now. His hands griped my arms softly.

"Hey hey hey, sorry for what? You didn't do anything. Why are you shaking Kim? Kim?" he said in a panicking tone.

I've screwed this up. Oh why did I have to ruin the gift I was given.

"I w-wanted t-to make you h-hap-py. I-Im so-ory. I d-don't know h-how t-to.." I shook my hands in front of me and looked down.

"Kim! You don't have to do this. You know that right?" Jared growled.

"Right!?" he said harder this time.

"I-Im so b-bad at-t this. You-u d-deserve s-someone bet-ter. Y-your used to p-people w-who are g-good at this…Im a-a f-fool to t-think.." I tried to get up and leave.

I couldn't get out of his grasp and he didn't say anything.

After about 5 minutes of silence, other than my sniffles, he spoke.

"Kim.. I am not expecting you to do anything, kay? You have no competition." I just shook my head.

"Kim look at me please," I didn't.

"Please," he sounded hurt, and that hurt me. I looked at him.

"You have no competition, got that?" I just looked at him.

"Got that?" he pressed. I nodded.

He rubbed circles on my back.

"You don't have to do anything till you're ready," he murmured in my ear, cuddling next to me. I nodded.

He kept murmuring, "You have no competition" until, I think..

I finally believed it.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm starting to think that maybe for some crazy reason Jared actually want to be with me.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to believe that, I think I might have some self-esteem issues.

Today we have a test, and last night I spent hours trying to help Jared study, he had no idea what was going on in the class. I was so happy when he actually wanted me to help him, he looked kind of sheepish when asking, and I think he was embarrassed.

I always though he walks on water, now I have found his flaw. He can't get good grades. So yea, he does walk on water. He's still perfect.

Damn why can't my flaws be as simple as that.

Jared picked me up and as soon as I was in his truck, I felt happier. Alive

"Morning," he said gruffly. I loved how his voice sounded in the morning, always so husky, it gave me butterfly's.

"Hi," I replied. Ever since _that night _I've been getting better at talking to him. Because now I know that he won't leave me if I make a slight screw up, Jared's so forgiving and understanding.

Jared's not much of a talker either, but we've gotten to the point where silence isn't as uncomfortable. Until he catches me staring at him, like now.

"What?" he asked touching his cheek with one hand.

I just looked down and blushed.

"Do I have something on my face?" he asked skeptically.

I shook my head no.

"Are we playing the 'guess what Kim's thinking' game again? Because that's a hard game." I blushed. Why does he have to be so god damn cute?

"I'm not thinking about anything," I murmured.

"Sure sure," he said with a smile in his eyes.

We pulled up to the school, which sadly still intimidates me.

He was opening my door for me, man is he fast.

Once I got out of the car Jared immediately reached around me at the same time he pulled me in for a short kiss. His lips tasted like tooth paste, which mixed well with his normal taste. He pulled back holding my backpack at the same time.

"Ready?" he said.

I nodded, I think he can tell I don't like school. I don't know how to feel about that.

He walked me to my locker, he always takes me to mine first and sometimes doesn't even stop at his. Once we entered the classroom he sat down, and I couldn't help but gawk at how graceful someone could be.

He looked up at me, "You joining me?"

Like a robot I obliged immediately.

"You ready for t-the test?" I asked him after sometime.

"Pfh no, but here's to hoping. Kinda want to graduate this year," he said with a frown.

"You will," I said without hesitation. I have all the confidence in him, I know he will.

He stared at me, I felt embarrassed, and this time I don't even know why.

"Okay class, take out you pens and calculators, I don't want to see anything else on your desk," Said the teacher when he walked in.

"Thanks," I heard Jared say as the teacher passed out the quiz.

I nodded my head not trusting myself to say something.

The test was easy; I blew through it in 50 minutes. Jared on the other hand took the whole period and at the end of it he didn't seem so confidant. I didn't like seeing him like that. He should be happy, he's perfect. I took his hand in mine and rubbed circles on it with my thumb.

I was shocked at my blondness, but I still couldn't look him in the eye.

The bell rang a minute later, it surprised me and I jumped and let go of his hand.

I stood up and collected my things and was about to bolt when Jared grabbed my hand.

"See you at lunch?" he asked. I looked up and once I did I couldn't look away. His eyes were like magnets, so beautiful. I nodded my head slowly. He flashed a quick smile and walked away. I made him smile again, oh swoon.

I walked to lunch in a kinda good mood. I got 98% on my test and I was going to go see Jared. My life's never been so perfect before ever.

I got to the table where Jared usually eats, but he wasn't there. Panic set through my veins. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.

"Hey Kim, come sit." I looked up and it was Paul talking to me.

I walked slowly towards him, and he patted the seat next to him. I sat down, I was still shocked that Paul was even talking to me when Jared wasn't there.

He just continued on eating and it wasn't awkward at all. I just sat happily actually, waiting for Jared as people where having a conversation around me.

Finally I saw Jared making his way towards us, I felt like my whole face lit up.

When he reached the table he noticed I was there, and he smiled to. I think my heart skipped a beat.

"Hey Kim, I got my test mark." He said to me.

"Year 4 of High School here you come," Paul said with a mouthful. Jared swung his fork at him so fast I was surprised when Paul caught it and laughed.

"No. Actually I got 70%" Jared told me.

"W-wow, good job! I'm proud of you," I said. For him that was an amazing mark, I am always just so proud to be called his. This just makes it better.

Jared cracked a small smile.

"Wow, Kim you turned him into a nerd," Paul told me and laughed. Paul was joking around with me. No one's ever done that before.

Jared was about to throw something else at Paul until I giggled. I couldn't help it.

Jared face softened and he started eating.

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><p>Jared dropped me off at home and drove off. I think over all today was an alright day.<p>

I made my way up to the door, unlocked it and went inside.

Well at least I though today was going to be a good day, my parents are home.

"Well hello," my Dad said leaning against the wall.

I nodded my head toward his direction, and made my way for the stairs.

"Hey! When I talk to you, you're supposed to respond!" he said drunkenly and pulled my hair. I yelped and tripped on the stairs and fell.

"Listen you dirty whore," he spit in my face, leaning over me.

"Listen!" he slapped my face. He like it. He did it again, and again. He laughed this way wrong chuckle.

He leaned back against the stair case and took another swig of his liquor. I ran upstairs and shut my door. I was bawling and started to shove my furniture against the door.

Not now, not after everything's starting to get perfect. I don't want to have this happen all over again.

"Open up Kimmy!" He said as he started to shove the door open. I backed up sitting in the corner trying to push myself further into the wall,

"No…no..no" I kept saying but it came out funny mixed with my teary voice.

He eventually got in my room, and slowly walked towards me. Was he trying to drag this out? To make it worse?

He got on his knees in front of me and grabbed my wrists, it burned because of the healing scabs on them.

"Oh do you not like this?" he said in a baby voice as his breath washed over my face and I was going to throw up.

He stood up then and started kicking me and punching me. A beating, do I need to explain it in detail?

"_Ring ring'_ the phone went off.

"Fuck, I'll be back. Stay." He told me as if I was a pet. I stood up and grabbed my backpack and shoved my favorite stuffy, my friend, into my bag and jumped out the window. It wasn't high but it still hurt when I landed. I was scared and I didn't know where else to go, he is all I know.

I ran all the way to Jared's house and rang the doorbell and waited. There was no answer, there was no way this was happening. I sunk down onto the pavement and cried.

I don't know how long I was there till I saw I figure coming towards the house. He was shirtless and shoe-less. As he got closer I could tell it was Jared.

"Kim? Kim is that you?" I heard he yell. Then he started running toward the house.

"Shit Kim what happened? Babe?"

I looked up and he saw my face. Whatever was on it must of scared him shitless

"Come on," He helped me off the ground; I was still a blubbering mess as he unlocked the door and took me inside.

He took me over to the couch.

"Sit down," He told me with worry In his voice.

"N-no I'm a-all mes-ssy," I blubbered.

"Doesn't matter," He left the room. I started to cry harder. I was seriously pushing his boundaries.

"Hey, hey now, drink some of this," he sat down next to me and handed me a glass of water.

He pushed my hair out of my face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"I-I didn't know w-where else t-to go-o," I sniffed out.

"You're always welcome here Kim, you know that." He told me. I felt a little bit better.

"I w-was at h-home and I-I …was hit and I.. I can't s-stay there J-Jared," I cried.

He started to shake, and I felt like I said something wrong. He's going to think I'm far too much work than it's worth.

I looked up at him, "You can stay here tonight." He told me.

"T-thank you," I murmured into his shoulder.

We sat like that for a while till he spoke.

"Kay, let's get you cleaned up and then we can watch a movie or something. Sound good?" he asked.

I nodded. I was to spent to really take charge so he helped me get up and led me to his bathroom.

"Take a shower and I'll be back with something clean for you to wear, kay?" He asked and I nodded. He left and shut the door.

I was just supposed to take a shower in his bathroom. I was a bit embarrassed, I don't know why though. I stripped and turned on the water, I slowly got in, testing the temperature.

I just stood under the warm water for about 10 minutes till I looked for some soap, I grabbed whosever soap it was and started to clean the blood and dirt off my body. After a while I realized that it must be Jared's soap because it smells like him.

After I got out I wasn't sure what I was supposed to put on. I wrapped the towel around me and crept outside. I just stood there, unsure of what I was supposed to do. But I didn't expect to run into someone.

"Hi," said an older woman. I assumed to be his Mom.

She sounded cruel and mad. I just stared.

"Hmpf I really wish he'd stop bringing whores home," She said and continued chopping up vegetables.

I couldn't help it, I started crying all over again. That's when she looked up, shock written on her face. Jared came around the corner at the same time.

"Come on Kim," he led me to his room.

"Here, you can uh put these on, they will be huge on you. But it's the smallest clothes I got, I'll wait outside." Jared walked out of his room and closed the door.

I looked at the clothes on his bed. It was a pair of boxers and a shirt I've seen him wear before. It was the one that was so tight you could see each muscle protruding out from underneath.

I put on his clothes and he was right, they were so baggy. I saw myself in the mirror and I understood what his Mother meant. I was just a gross ugly whore in her sons clothes. I looked away from the mirror before I had another crying episode.

I walked to the kitchen because that's where I heard voices coming from.

"She seems a bit different from the usual whores that you bring home," his Mom commented.

"Don't talk about her like that," Jared growled. I was shocked as I stood still in the kitchen, that's when Jared whipped around to look at me. His eyes softened as soon as he saw my face.

"Hey," he walked towards me blocking my view of his mother and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Feeling better?"

I did0'nt know what to say so I did nothing.

He backed away and appraised me till he spoke up.

"Kim Meet my mother Lian," He introduced.

"Mom this is my girlfriend Kim." He spoke with...pride? I think that's what it was.

I waved slightly while looking at the ground.

I heard a gasp then I looked up just in time to see Jared making his way over to me again.

He grabbed my wrist and stared.

Shit, I forgot to hide those. This was so embarrassing. He is defiantly going to leave me now.

"Kim what's this?" He asked while shaking.

His mother walked closer and gasped and tried to look me in the eye.

"N-nothing," I said and tried to pull my hand out of his grasp.

After a couple of tugs he let go. Silence followed after.

"Why?" I looked up and I couldn't believe it. Jared had tears in his eyes. I didn't know what to do. I was such a horrible person.

"Why what? I asked.

"Did... did you do that to yourself?" he asked me with a shaky voice.

"Why? _Why not._ I'm worthless." I stated. It was a fact, I didn't understand why I had to explain this to him. He must know, and I sure him Mother would agree. After all I'm just a wanna-be-whore.

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R and if you have any ideas of what you think should happen, let me know! <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Please R&R and if you have any ideas of what you think should happen, let me know! **

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><p>To think that just a very short time ago, I was dreaming about being in Jared's life. Dreaming of him holding me and showing me off as his love, his other half. That he would spontaneously fall for me. We could be so happy together, I would do whatever he wanted to make him happy. And when he was happy, well, so was I.<p>

I never dreamed that he'd have this horrified expression painted on his face. This wasn't a-part of my dream, this isn't what I had envisioned. So I did what I was so perfectly good at and had lots of practice with. I blocked him out.

I blocked out the feeling of heartbreak that I knew was going to approach me any minute now. All of a sudden the ground was interesting and I couldn't look away because it was just so god damn amazing.

"Kim, why the hell would you say something like that. Fuck!" Jared screamed, he was the first to break the silence, I don't understand why we are being silent in the first place

I jumped a little, but still looked down. He continued to yell.

"Like what are you thinking? I don't even understand why this helps, I don't get it. Your never upset, I've never seen you mad. And you go and do this over night? No, you're not supposed to do this, I mean -." Jared was cut off by his mom.

"Jared...this doesn't happen overnight," She said gently.

"What do you mean? Yes it does, it wasn't there before." He all but growled at his mom. I didn't want to see his facial expression. He sounded so…scary.

"Honey," she said walking slowly towards me, "Can I please see your arm?"

No. That was my answer, no way. But I couldn't talk, why were my thoughts so forceful but never came out?

"Just for a second..." she started to reach for my arm, I yanked back.

"Please," she grabbed a bit more forcefully. I was in a state of uncaring, I let her take it and I just looked away.

"Some are fresh...and some are old scars." She told Jared.

"But, I would have known, Kim would have told me. Right Kim?...Kimberly?" I felt a slight pull to my heart when he said my name. My full name.

I stood there. And looked at the floor, because it was one fantastic looking floor.

"Bring her to your room; I'll grab the first aid kit. But Jared, hey Jared! You need to calm down." His mother said forcefully.

I stood there till I felt two hot hands on my shoulders, I jumped. I couldn't help it, it surprised me. Immediately I felt his hands let go, I cursed myself for flinching.

"Whoa, hey Kim it's just me."

"Come up to my room, kay. We need to get this sorted." He said, way nicer than earlier when he was speaking.

He gave me a light nudge and we started to walk upstairs. He led me where to go, I was still in my robot trance. I preferred it that way it was less scary.

He stood in the doorway of his room with me standing just in front of him. He wouldn't tell me where he wanted me to go, I just stood there looking at the ground. As minutes passed by I was starting to hyperventilate. Everything that just happened was starting to process through my brain, and I didn't like it.

"Kim?" I heard his cracked voice from behind.

My breath hitched at his sudden voice.

"I know you can hear me, but I don't understand why… why won't you speak? You have a voice. Speak, please." His voice was cracking, and I began to wonder, is he crying?

No, please I threw that thought right out the window. He's just upset that now he's got to take care of me, great I ruined his night.

"Hey I got the kit," His mother appeared from behind walking in front of me to set the kit on the bed.

"Kim, right? Can you come here?" she said so smoothly. Nope, well I couldn't move so no chance was I going to be able to walk to the bed, and most likely trip.

I felt Jared's hand touch my back leading me forward, I obliged.

I sat down at the edge of the bed, as she stared to take different things out of the tin box.

I just watched her unwrap, open tools, yada yada.

I moved my eyes downwards again, so she was no longer in my peripheral vision.

All of a sudden I felt her reach for my arm, that was the moment I decided I was going to respond.

"No!" I lurched forward and yanked my arm from her grasp. And started to shake profoundly.

"Kim!" Jared said stunned, he got up right next to me and put his huge hands on my arms, rubbing them up and down.

"Why are you acting like this? Your scaring me." He said. I stopped shaking and went back to my emotionless state. It was much less painful there.

"Just sit back down, please" he said, I didn't move until he motioned for me to do so.

"Here Jared, maybe ...you should try to do it. I'm starting to think that she's, well mentally chaleng- " Jared's mother was cut off by Jared this time.

"No she's fine, she's fine. Her minds fine." He said, murderously at his mother.

I thanked god at that moment, because Jared knew I wasn't retarded and that calmed me down a lot. I thought he was going to want me gone if he thought I was mental. I'd tell him I wasn't I just couldn't…speak. Yeah that's not a sign of mental issues at all.

"Okay I believe you, I really do. I still think you should try putting the bandages on and cleaning her cut." She said softly to him

"You don't have to talk like that, she can hear you ya know." He said under his breath.

He sat down next to me and started grabbing stuff from the tin box, at his mother's request.

"Please Kim, just let me help. I won't hurt you, trust me." He said softly to me as he reached for my arm. I wanted to let him know I trusted him, as I saw his arm so close to mine.

He grabbed my arm and I flinched back.

"Kim, no it's okay," I softened my body and let my arm go slack. I heard him let all his breath out, he was holding it in?

He continued to touch up and down the entire length of my arm, applying medicine to all the gashes, I could feel it. Usually when I would irritate a cut, it would make me feel better because it would remind me of the pain I inflicted. But when he would disturb it, it made me feel. Well wrong, like I disappointed him.

I looked to the other side of the room then, I couldn't watch this, even from my peripheral vision.

He wrapped both arms up in bandages and put the things back in the kit. His mother took it and opened the door to leave the room.

"Just get me if you need anything. And I mean it, kay hun?" She said.

Was she talking to me? I don't know. She said I was a whore earlier, not that I blame her but I don't think she would go out of her way for me now.

She then left the room, and closed the door behind her. I could hear her footsteps walking down the stairs. It was silent in the room with Jared. We both sat on the bed, no one moved or talked. I could feel his eyes on me though. What was he thinking? I couldn't even process what's going on.

I think we sat like that for 30 minutes. I'm not too sure, you know that trance feeling where you just can't do a thing, well I'm still currently in it.

"How's Language class?" He spoke gently. I thought about it for a second, well it was fine. I was doing great in the marks part but I wasn't the fondest of the teacher.

"Well..." I started. I felt his body shift to me.

"Come on, I won't judge," he said with a strained happy voice. I think.

"I won't laugh if your failing…" He suggested.

"I am not," I told him flicking his shoulder with the back of my hand, looking up at his face.

I have never once in my life gotten out of a trance like that so fast. When I got them it took me a day or two to realize what's happening is over. But he did it.

He did it with ease.

And his eyes were blotchy red.

I was right, he had been crying. I didn't want to be right.

I just looked at him, to stunned to remember that I was too shy to look at him in the eyes.

"You don't want to talk about it, I get it. But don't shut down like that on me. Please I don't care what you say, just don't ever stop saying it to me." He said.

I think my heart did a couple back flips. He sounded so desperate, I can't put him through pain. I said I'd do whatever in my power to make him happy. And that I will, I live to do whatever he wants.

"Were s-studying a play-y." I stuttered back to him.

I don't think I've ever seen a grin so huge on his face, it was so marvelous to see there.

"Oh yea, so you guys get to what, act it out? Ha Ha like they do in theater camp shows or what?" he said with a snicker.

I shrugged, looking down.

"What's with staring at the ground?"

"It's just so damn pretty," I murmured under my breath. Sure that he couldn't hear me. But he snickered.

I looked up, did he hear me? I don't know, all I know it at that moment I felt him pull me to his side and lay me down with him.

I was a bit startled but I let him do it anyway.

"Maybe it's time for some sleep," he murmured in my ear.

"I really like you Kim. I don't know how to be in a relationship like this. I've never cared like this. And you're turning me into a windbag but-don't you dare ever think that I don't care about you. Because I, well I ... care, Yea, I care." He said softly into my ear. And at that point I think, well I think I drifted off. Because this night was going to be the most peaceful sleep of my life. I just knew it.

* * *

><p>I felt really warm, in the comfy sense. I looked around just to realize where I was. I looked to my right and there was a prince.<p>

He was lying next to me with his arm around me, well spooning I think.

I blushed neon red. But he was still asleep; maybe I could take advantage of this? Stay in this position for a while.

Sounded like a good idea for me. I lay there, comfy as ever. And I felt…happy. Dear lord Jared makes me feel happy.

I felt him shift next to me, oh don't wake up I like it here.

"Uhhg" he groaned and sort of lifted his body. He was defiantly up. And I smiled a little, he laid back down and hugged me tighter, while making guy noses.

He liked laying here like this to.

Oh swoon.

"Grood morging," he murmured into the pillow. Damn, how'd he know I was up. It's like he had super sensing ability's.

Instead of answering I stroked his arm, my way of mentioning I was up.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

I just "Mm," ed and I think he got the picture.

"That's good," he shuffled a bit to get up. I frowned, I didn't want to get up.

He moved until he was standing next to the bed rubbing his eyes. I felt cold after he got up, and I wanted him back down.

I shoved my face into the pillow, having my own little temper tantrum.

"What, oh get up sleepy pants," he laughed, noticing my little rebellion. My face was probably a tomato but it was worth it hearing Jared's laughter.

I sat up slowly, knowing I would be dizzy, just like every other morning.

I stood to my feet and looked at Jared.

He had gone to bed in his jeans and shoes? I really made that much of a fuss didn't I?

But… he stayed. And held me, comforted me, the list goes on. Why'd he do that? He saw my…my cuts. He shouldn't have cared. I mean….

"Let's get something to eat," he reached for my hand, and I saw for a Mila-second his eyes flash to my bandages up and down my arms. I gulped. But he looked away just as fast and led me down the stairs.

In the kitchen his mother was cooking up a storm. She was making a stack load of pan cakes.

"Hey kids," she said with a smile. Her eyes looked down at my cuts longer than Jared's did.

I felt disgusting and started to put my arms behind my back.

"Hey mom," Jared said standing in front of me. Like he was shielding me from his mother's eyes. Like a true prince would do.

"Looks good," he said gruffly. I followed close behind him, right on his tail. I felt more comfortable being in his shadow.

He grabbed two plates and held one out to me, I blushed and shook my head no.

"Huh?" Jared said as if not grasping the concept.

I just shook my head again. He seemed to get it this time.

"You have to eat," he said to me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I saw his mother look up at us with shocked eyes.

He still seemed confused though, so he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I'm not going to kiss you, unless you eat breakfast." He stated simply.

I frowned, god really? I barely get to kiss him anyway. I'm too shy to ever initiate it.

I took the plate and Jared grinned. It was worth it just to see that smile light up his face.

I grabbed a pancake, and he grabbed fifty. Where he all put it, I'll never know.

I sat down next to him, feeling nervous. I didn't want to eat because I'll just get fatter and grosser. But he wanted me to. I didn't understand.

That's when I noticed he was looking at me curiously.

He took my fork, cut a piece of pancake and held it to my mouth. I couldn't believe he was doing this.

I looked at him, with the 'what'-the-hell' face. But he just shook his head and showed me to open my mouth. I did and he carefully fed. I looked down as I chewed bright red faced and all.

"God Jared," I mumbled while punching his shoulder.

I heard a gasp behind us, and turned around, his mother had made it. She quickly got over it and told us to have fun at school and left the room.

What was that about?

We finished our breakfast, and I didn't feel guilty yet. But I'm sure that will come later.

"I'll drive you to your house first, to pick up some clothes. Is that okay?" I nodded.

As we left the house, Jared opened the door for me to get in the car. I blushed; he was such a sweet heart.

We drove in a comfortable silence. I find the more time I spend with him, the more at ease I feel. He just makes it feel so…right, to act like myself.

We stopped in front of my house.

"I'll just wait here," He said softly to me.

I nodded my head and opened the door to get out.

I walked up to the house and let myself in, slowly checking to see if anyone was there. The house seemed empty, it smelled heavily of booze though.

I went up to my bed room and grabbed some clothes fast. I didn't feel safe in my room. That scared me, I've always felt safe in my room.

As I left the house I saw Jared standing next to his car waiting for me. Why had he gotten out?

He smiled at me as I reached the truck, and he opened the door for me. My heart lurched a little.

He was always being so friendly to me, I had to say something.

As he was about to close the door I said a soft "Thank you," crap. He probably hadn't heard me. I was to quite.

He looked at my for a split second before he leaned in and caressed my chin with his course hand. His hands were so gentle but rough, and it sent shivers through me. His breath rinsed across my face as he slowly, and painfully took his time to kissing my lips. The way he felt against my mouth was pure ecstasy. I made a face when he pulled away. I didn't want to stop, not now not ever.

"It's what I'm here for," I heard him say before he closed the door and went to his side.

Totally worth eating breakfast.

**Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it loads! **


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